Alone Again (Naturally)
New year, huh.
Well, here we are again! This is what today’s newsletter has in store:
a tarot reading
a small coincidence
a memory
a tarot reading
the dense and tender bloom / of shared connection - mesquite tarot
The card descriptions are going here; the reading will be at the end of the newsletter.
Two of Wands reversed jumped out of the deck. I’m taking it as the theme for the reading. That theme is connection. Two hands reach out to the other, tangling their pinkies together. Lotus blossoms curl around them. The art feels different reversed; the hands less grounded, less secure.
King of Pentacles reversed was next. In other decks it’s a lovely card. But the Sasuraibito version always struck me as arrogant. The art evokes corporate branding and mindfulness ads. There’s gloating here: a person stands on top of a hill looking down, hands on their hips. In the sky are comets (or meteors). The reversed art, again, makes the person feel unsteady.
Five of Wands was last. Five branches are stacked messily atop each other. They’re beginning to catch alight, sparks flaring. It’s a card of conflict, healthy conflict. The kind that starts bonfires, not the kind that burns. Hopefully.
a small coincidence
Gilbert O’Sullivan’s Alone Again (Naturally) cropped up this month on my tumblr dash. The song was used for a Maison Ikkoku anime opening. I love old anime openings; I love Rumiko Takahashi. I reblogged it.
But I first noticed Alone Again in a Ted Lasso playlist.
Ted Lasso is another show I’ve fallen into this December (it’s not a very deep hole but I’m digging). I’ve seen a lot of recommendations that go, “Ted’s optimism will save the world!” and I’m not into all that. I think it’s a fun-tragic show and I enjoy Ted Lasso going to therapy. It’s a catharsis watch.
If you know of any good criticism written on it please do recommend. (Parul Sehgal’s article on trauma plots was…interesting? I liked Aisha Harris’ article on the Black Lady Therapist trope.)
Anyway, I was listening to the music featured in both seasons and went, “Huh this sounds awfully familiar.” Then I looked up the lyrics. Then l listened to the song 22 times.
a memory
As a Sacramento suburb kid, I visited the Crocker Art Museum yearly. There was, and perhaps still is, a small wall of the museum dedicated to food: paintings of cakes, little pastry ceramics, and wooden carvings of cheese. It was delightful. My mom, twin and I loved that section. Those cake paintings were Wayne Thiebaud’s; he passed away this week. The Crocker celebrated his 100th birthday last year, and you can take a look at his art on the exhibit’s webpage. It is delightful.
a tarot reading (cont.)
The new year — actually, most of December — is melancholy. I don’t really enjoy christian holidays? And it’s always been lonely, even when not alone. There is a reason I really like Alone Again. (I like sad songs.) Anyway, I’m trying to psyche myself up to go and get mochi for ozōni but I’m not making soba this year.
When I read the cards, all I could think about was the next year of a pandemic in a time when a lot of the folks around me are desperate to return. Return where, I’m not sure. There’s Two of Wands, a card of tentative connection, but reversed and unsteady. There’s the corporate, detached King of Pentacles with none of the community sense of my other decks, also reversed. And then there’s Five of Wands, sparking with tension. So really, all I could think of was Covid-19 protocol for small community events. Is it just me?
If you’d prefer to avoid discussion of Covid-19, skip this quote section.
Covid-19 protocol feels a lot like theatre — like TSA’s security theatre (and Delta’s CDC’s isolation guidelines). I’ve helped with Covid-19 protocol for in-person events. I’m going to be planning hybrid events next year. I’m looking for models, but the best ones are at home, so.
Is it catastrophizing when catastrophe is happening? And is an event really worth the risk? Even tied up in community? To be clear, this isn’t censuring you. I’m being dishonest. I’m making the decisions, so what decisions am I making?
I’m thinking on this stanza, my favorite part of Alone Again. It’s followed by an instrumental section as if to give me time to stare at a wall.
It seems to me that
There are more hearts broken in the world
That can't be mended
Left unattended
What do we do
What do we do
What do we do? Happy new year, everyone. I’m holding you tight.
Warmly,
Mya Worrell
I'm so excited for the games you write.