I struggle with routines. If you’ve known me for a bit you know this — I have difficulty forming habits; I’m liable to setting down and forgetting things; I was always losing jackets, water bottles, and lunch boxes in elementary school (and past elementary too). I might have said this already but I’m too embarrassed to re-read my past newsletters and check.
I do have one routine, kept out of necessity, for when I leave the house. I’ve slowly added to it throughout the pandemic. I keep my keys, wallet, mask, and mask fitter hanging by the front door (or I try to have them hanging by the door). When I get ready to leave the house my keys and my wallet get clipped to my jean belt loops and tucked into the front pockets. My KN95 mask, also on a carabiner, gets clipped on. Finally, I hang a spaghetti-like silicon mask fitter around my neck. When it’s time to go I put it on.
This is about the only routine I’m able to keep because I designed it to be very, very easy to find and grab what I need for the day. Everything goes by the door, everything is on a clip or a loop so I can attach it to my person. Now if only I could figure out how to do this for chores like dishes and laundry…but back to masking.
Putting on my mask and fitter is a lengthy routine. Clip the mask on; check that it’s on right and not catching on my hair; pull up the mask fitter; secure it on the crown of my head, bridge of my nose, and under my chin; adjust the fit and the bridge area. When I’m waiting for the bus or traveling I’ll do a quick mask check, putting my hands above my nose, by my cheeks, below my chin, and huff out air to check for leaks. If needed I’ll take the fitter off and repeat the process to ensure the best fit. Sometimes I do this two or three times.
I’ve gotten a lot of questions about my mask fitter. (Fix The Mask brand; best fitter on the market; feel free to ask me questions about it!) I’ll admit, my fitter doesn’t look great. It’s a strange pastel grey-blue that doesn’t match any of my outfits. It makes my hair poofy and any tweaking I do is inevitably undone when I have to take my mask and fitter off to eat or drink. I’ve been told I look like a shark with it on.
It’s comfortable though and keeps the edges of my mask sealed to my face. I’ve compromised between the uncomfortable but secure seal of an N95 and the more comfortable but very loose fit of a surgical mask by wearing KN95s (comfortable, much better filtering, but watch the seal). That’s where the fitter comes in.
I can put it on pretty quickly by now, and even with one hand sometimes. It’s much better than the set-up I had in 2020 when I worked for the Census, layering cloth masks over an N95 that left me with near-constant bruising and irritation on my bridge. I’ll often fiddle with it throughout the day, checking that it’s still in place, adjusting the straps.
For someone who finds routine difficult, and activities that require more than a few steps overwhelming, I’ve found a sort of refuge in the finicky routine of masking. It always feels like messages to mask up are accompanied by caveats about how restrictive or irritating masks are. “I know it sucks but mask up to help protect others, etc, etc.”
I like the weight and pressure and coverage of masks. It’s grounding. It’s routine. It’s one way I can feel a little bit more in control during a time when I have very little control over the wider policy that shapes the physical spaces I’m entering.
Ok, I’m going to be juvenile for a moment.
I don’t understand why y’all are so quick to unmask!!! Stop pressuring me to unmask when outdoors!!! Yes, even for photographs!!!
There, that’s done with. I could put lots of little caveats here but won’t. I am trying to be better about vocalizing my own boundaries. It is juvenile to be passive-aggressive about any of this. That’s annoying and ineffective and unfair to those around me.
Buuut…current prevailing governmental policy fully endorses and protects being unmasked despite y’know, PANDEMIC, so I think unmaskers can take me being a little bit petty about all this. They are doing just fine (and are far more susceptible to catching and spreading COVID).
Returning to routines, this newsletter is a routine I fell off of, but I had the sudden urge to write so here we are. I can’t promise I’ll be back soon but I’d like to cultivate this space again. Some questions for you:
What rituals have you cultivated over time, and how have they changed during the pandemic?
What do you like about masking? (I already know most of the reasons why people don’t like masking, so kindly do not tell me. Thank you.)
Any tips on streamlining chores like laundry and dishes? (Please. Help me.)
As always, please mask up when indoors and at crowded outdoor events. Try to wear masks with better filtering (KN95s and above) and make sure it has a nice fit around the nose, cheeks, and chin. We are still in a pandemic.
Warmly,
Mya Worrell
they/them
I've finally figured out how to arrange all my skincare and dental care stuff so that i do it consistently most nights! it properly feels like a before night ritual now. mmm masking definitely helps with dysphoria some days, especially if i forget to shave. and dishes i've been trying to get better about washing as I go+doing dishes right after cooking/eating with help from someone else if possible, and sticking to a lot more one pot/one pan/one bowl recipes and generally staying away from cooking stuff with a lot of fats that would get stuck to cookware and be annoying to clean.
I was in the garden 4/5 days during the pandemic. I've never had a little bit of outside to grow my own things in. The garden has changed so much due to my involvement and by its own will. No joy is as high and specific as seeing a new plant or bug out there. I know that experience will help me in unfolding ways as I grow older.
It's a bit childlike for me, but more recently, I've seen people that mask as people who love me. Especially if they don't know me. It's at times overly simple, but it's helped my mind process these times better.
I'm a big dish person. I have leaned into the "DO IT NOW" mindset. It's given me much more bandwidth to be creatively bored.